#Fruity rumpus asshole factory how to#

She’s high strung and lately she just makes me jittery. My only regular company is my mom and lately I can’t stand her either.

I know they care and it’s not their fault but I’m desperately lonely right now. 3rd shift is making it very hard to be around the people I would socialize with, planning, work schedules etc. anything happens I just wish I could be left alone.

I’m getting to the point I can’t take waking up.Įvery time. When I express this to someone they just go “me too fam,” essentially, and then plays the “my depression is worse” game and I’m like no. I’m trying very hard to hang in there, push through to spring coming but I frequently just want to die. It’s been hard to watch the news lately so I just. I mostly get anxiety attacks when I’m sleep deprived or nervous about something. Additionally I’ve been having anxiety attacks when I’m awake in the day. I’m not sure it’s because I haven’t felt good for months, if the lack of light from winter+3rd shift has finally gotten to me, or I’m just having a really bad depression flare, maybe all of the above. My heart is open to them, I want to support them and offer validation that they are loved because that’s what friends do. But, I hope they understand through my actions. It’s hard to say that to a man you don’t know extremely well (These aren’t just ANY men). There are varying levels of intimacy though, and I want them to know that I’m there for them just like I’m there for their wives. I guess I’m also saying I’m trying to not think of these men as “my friends’ husbands” but just more friends. I will never love my friends’ husbands the way I love my friends, but by virtue of loving my friends I want them to be happy. I love the same women they love and our relationships do and don’t existed independently from each other. It’s hard to reach out to somebody you don’t know well, but I’ve realized it doesn’t have to be that way.

It’s taken me a while to realize that my friends’ husbands don’t exist in a separate reality. I guess I’m saying I’m trying to be a better person. Where, I think that’s easier for women to say and do.

#Fruity rumpus asshole factory how to#

Sometimes those people don’t seem to know how to say “I need validation that my friends love me”. This isn’t some hobby though these are the people my closest friends have chosen to spend the rest of their lives with. Maybe I feel what’s dear to my friends should be dear to me too, which I’m under no obligation, of course. I don’t know the intricacies of their relationships. I don’t know if this makes me seem arrogant. I’m finding myself making the effort to reach out to them the same way I do for their wives (My dearest of treasures) because, if my friends love these penis-havers then I guess I should too. They don’t seem to cope with depression the same way or as well (Again this is no one person). Or if I’m visiting and their husbands seem amused and baffled by our open displays of affection. I see it when my girlfriends tell me their worries about their husbands, mostly. I have a handful of male friends that it’s been the same way, but not nearly as often.Īnd my friends’ husbands, they don’t seem to get that same warmth from the majority of their male friends. And my healthiest, longest lasting, and joyous friendships with my friends has always been emotionally supportive and warm. That is, they have friends of course, but I think friendship between men is different than friendship between women.

This is NOT a call-out post, you’re all darlings) I’ve noticed their husbands seem to have a hard time reaching out. Since my friends have married/had life partners (And this isn’t directed at any specific friend. Something I’ve been realizing lately seems pretty obvious: Men need emotional support.